So I think it is finally time to let you know that we are expecting again! Our baby GIRL is due on May 13...almost 3 years after Megan was born. We are very excited...although still a little reserved. It's been hard to fully believe that everything is ok this time around. The last 18 months have been incredibly hard....and we will never forget the 3 babies that we did not get a chance to meet in this lifetime.

Now is the time though to start looking forward to this little girl. To see her grow, to see her and Megan develop the bond of sisters, to see our family expand from 3 to 4. I'm startig to be able to picture it.

I've started to feel her moving in my belly...those soft little nudges that remind me that she is real. I can't wait until the nudges turn into full blown kicks...

We will continue to pray that this pregancy goes well. God is holding us in his hands...I know that because without Him we wouldn't have made it this far. Please remember us in your prayers as well.....power in numbers!

So we woke up to snow this morning. Mike and I tend to grumble about it...it means shoveling, and cold. Megan, on the other hand, was quite excited about it. She ran to the window and exclaimed "Lots of snow, Mommy! I can use my shovel!" And then when there wasn't enough time this morning to let her shovel, she was quite upset. We got her into the car and she quickly forgot that she was upset, and started marvelling again about all the snow. And when we walked into daycare, and her babysitter said "Hi Megan!" Megan's reply was "Snow!"

At least somebody will enjoy it at our house!

My 2-year-old!

words

The Broken clock is a comfort
It helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow
From stealing all my time
And I am here still waiting
Though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best
Like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
There is healing
In your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on
I'm barely holding on to you

I'm hanging on another day
Just to see what, you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on, to the words you say
You said that I will, will be okay
The broken light on the freeway
Left me here alone
I may have lost my way now
But I haven't forgotten my way home

I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
There is healing
In your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on
Barely holding on to you

Funny story

So it was just Megan and I for supper last night. I was feeling kind of lazy, so we ended up having pasta salad and hot dogs. Megan loved her hot dog and gobbled it up. All except for a chunck of her bun. I told her to finish up her bun and after she tried a little bite of it, she instantly threw it back on her plate and told me it was "gross". Where does my not even 2-year-old learn this stuff??!

time keeps on passing

So I figured it was high time I updated the blog again. Megan keeps on growing and learning new things every day. She is starting to put a few words together now, and is also learning to sing! Her favourite right now is "row, row, row your boat".

Funny story: We took Megan to Swiss Chalet a few weeks ago. The waitress came up to our table and asked us what we would like to drink. Without hesitation, Megan looked up at her and said "Water". I guess she knows exactly what she wants!

In other news, we finally got our test results back from the fertility clinic. Looks like everything is normal...there was one test that came back as inconclusive, so I need to have 3 more blood tests over the next 9 months, and if I get pregnant before that I have to take an aspirin once a day until my 36th week of pregnancy. I'm also going to be taking progesterone when I get pregnant and having regular ultrasounds for the first 10 weeks. I guess it's good news that everything is ok, but it also means there isn't anything to fix....so I am nervous to be pregnant again, but I guess I have to just give it to God and pray for peace! I'm happy to finally be able to move to the next chapter and I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens.

My Valentine!

Wishing everyone a very Happy Valentines Day!

I'll be spending the day with one of my favourite Valentines!

My favourite girl..

Megan playing peekaboo (she calls it Pee-too)

So we are already well into another year. January is behind us, which means my 26th year is gone too! Mike and I went to Mont Tremblant to celebrate my birthday this year. We stayed at a place called Chateau Beauvallon, and it was beautiful! The room exceeded our expectations. We walked around the village, had supper there and did a little bit of shopping and then just relaxed at the hotel. It was great and much needed! It was very nice to get back and see Meg again too, though....I missed that little munchkin!

February begins another chapter in our lives...as some of you know we had another miscarriage at the end of November. It was pretty heartbreaking and discouraging...although God has been good to us and is getting us through it somehow. The doctor told us that if we wanted to we could be referred to a fertility clinic to start looking into why this may keep happening. Usually it is not considered to be repeat miscarriages until you have 3 in a row, but since we had two, they could start doing tests. We decided to go with this. If there is something wrong I'd rather try and find out now instead of waiting for this to happen a third time. So this month we will be starting some testing. Mostly blood tests....and hopefully soon we will have some answers...and the go ahead to start trying again! All I can say is that I am so incredibly thankful for Megan...I love that little girl so much and I know that all of this would be a lot harder if she were not here already. She reminds us that we are blessed and that there is reason to keeping living even when things seem bleak. Mike has been really supportive too, and I'm lucky to have him....there are still days when I'm sad and longing for what we lost and he's right there to hug and encourage me.

That is my story for now.

It’s hard to stand
On shifting sand
It’s hard to shine
In the shadows of the night
You can’t be free
If you don’t reach for help
And you can’t love
If you don’t love yourself
But there is hope when my faith runs out
Cause I’m in better hands now

It’s like the sun is shining
When the rain is pouring down
It’s like my soul is flying
Though my feet are on the ground
So take this heart of mine
There’s no doubt
I’m in better hands now

I am strong
All because of you
I stand in awe of
Every mountain that you move
I am changed
Yesterday is gone
I am safe
From this moment on
And there’s no fear when the night comes around
I’m in better hands now

(In Better Hands by Natalie Grant)

a few pics

Megan loves to dress up!

Megan with her babies

Megan's newest baby

A beautiful Christmas present handmade by Uncle Rod